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Sunday, March 11, 2001
Wai wai! PK has a cute new Kirby-ish layout. Which reminds me that I ought to be working on a new layout @@;;; ... *blinks* Actually... I had a dream with PK innit last night. How odd is that? *falls*

Angie - dun worry, I'm okay. Really. You/Kristen/Kitsu/Coapi cheered me up. And... I guess those who don't care about me... may bite my ass. X3;;;

O_______O;;; *records herself singing* Mother of Pearl! That was HORRIBLE! @____________@;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

X3; it's Congregation time at my house! or so it seems, anyway. My parents have quite a few people coming over for dinner. Maybe I'll hide in the corner with my DC @___@;; But. Does my voice REALLY sound like that? I'm so... NASAL! *dies* Just call me Xellos... *dies more* Damn. xx;;;

Saturday, March 10, 2001
Far away, long ago
glowing dim as an ember
things my heart used to know
things it yearns to remember
and a song someone sings
once upon a december~

oh, admit it, it's a nice song. And it fits me nicely. I wish I remembered what it was like when I thought people I knew actually cared for me. I hate whoever took my innocence away. I really do.

Alright. I'll post this now. No, I don't particularly expect to get feedback on it. I don't really expect anyone to read it. It's quite funny, really, that after seventeen - no, sorry, eighteen - years of being nothing, I still don't get it. I'm such a fool. None of my friends have cared about me, or what I do. No one has anything in common with me. No one wants to have anything in common with me. No one cares whether I come or go, and no one cares... at all... I ... why do I fool myself this way... I'm such a glutton for punishment really... I should stop trying to be accepted... No one wants me.

Kristen - I believe the strongest friendships are those that don't necessarily have a reason behind them. If you have a reason to want to be friends with someone, it's a selfish reason, right? I think the truest friendships are those that are just ... I don't know. I'm an idiot, don't listen to me.

so... here it is. The prologue. here.

All I've got to say regarding this is... if the Dursleys "resemble fundamentalist Christians", I hope I never meet one.

@___@;;; I think my Fred sb is a klepto... that or he was just gleefully mischevious last night because... er, I dunno why. ^^;;; maybe because Kat was acting as his partner-in-crime.... *offers around the mints he filched from the restaurant*

X3; Harry Potter Quiz results...

# 1 Ron Weasley
# 2 Hermione Granger
# 3 Harry Potter
# 4 Draco Malfoy
# 5 Ginny Weasley

@______@;;; I kinda figured I'd get Ron. I have such an inferiority complex... (I THINK that's the term I'm looking for — you know, I'm like Ron). Maybe that's why I love him so... X33

and now.... breakfast. X3;

Thursday, March 08, 2001
DUDE! @@;;; my Draco sb is such an ass... X3; he just got himself turned into a ferret again... *cackles* I'm sure Harry will turn him back... in a few days...

Fred: If he knows how! >3;

o____O; strangeness...

I overheard some kids talking about how they should wear a helmet when riding bike, today, while I was walking home. "You should wear one! If you fall over and break your head, you'll never ever live again!" .... o______O;;; kids...

X3; I'm such a dork, but I wrote the prologue! Or rather, Av did... since it's first-person from his perspective. Now I'm redoing chapter one. o_____O;;; but ... *types up the prologue* You never know when someone'll actually want to READ it...

Tuesday, March 06, 2001
Oh, GAWD! @______@; I am such a dutz! How could I have just - forgotten that I'd named Av's story Ordinary Skies?! X____x; I named it that... what, two months ago?

And I've gotten another Harry Potter sb... x_____X; last one, I swear! ... I hope....

I didn't realize I'd sbed another one for about a week... but I realized it when I couldn't stop from being cheerful after getting some abysmal marks in Chem class... that it wasn't my amusement I felt... it was his....

of course, I didn't realize that until I was on the bus on my way home. The bus is always a good time for reflection and whatnot (while I'm studiously ignoring everyone around me @@; )

bwah. We're doing a painting project next in art... I just finished my chaulk pastels. Whoo. Watch my mark plummet! xx;;

Monday, March 05, 2001
" 'I'll never forgive myself,' Av gasped, running along the main street of the town. 'I'll never forgive myself if Jarol...'
'If I what?'
Avie crashed into a tree."

... ^^; random excerpt, chapter one, first draft. Poor Av crashing into trees... *pets Av*

Av: ... It jumped out at me, I swear. o__o;

Sunday, March 04, 2001
X3; I'm back~ (home, that is) .. I was at my sister's apartment... @@;;; I should be sleeping. *nods*

XDDDD; I'm not the only one who checks the poo site oekakis for stuff I recognize, am I? X3; *loves the multitudes of Digimon and Harry Potter stuffs there* .... XD

*shivers* TT; it's cooold~~ *has been cold ever since... getting home* x___X;

... XDDDD Ronniespätzchen~! *looks around for a Ron to glomp*

Fred: Down, girl. o___O; you're not going to find him, give it up already!

*blinks* b-but... ;o; ... hey! You look sorta like Ron! *glomps Fred* X3 <3

Fred: ... >___<;;

... I can't think of anything significant to say. x___X; I .. uh, got a green light-up Hogwarts pen... *blinks* and if I continue blogging, my sbs will take over...

Friday, March 02, 2001
bwah.... censorship blows. x_____X;;; Why do I feel the need to censor myself from others? Th... I.. I dunno... I've never been accepted... REALLY accepted... by people I know irl... and... that's not when I show the real me... there are lots about me that people don't know. XD;;; I also play at being my own psychiatrist sometimes... it's kinda fun to examine my psyche and try to figure out what the hell's wrong with me. Not that knowing what my problem is will actually do anything about it.... (Bite me, Dr. Phil! XD )

XD I'm such a critic... *pokes self* bad mato, bad!

... ^^; I love the song "We're Dancing" by PYT... from the Center Stage soundtrack.. *rolls* ^^;;; I'd love to be able to dance... but.... I'm not even graceful when I walk, tripping over myself and all....

x___X; I'm probably too tall and awkward and skinny to be a dancer anyway... plus, dun they take lessons since they're like, FIVE?! ... T_____T; I wish my parents had put me into dance...

... ^^; yaoi.

now that I've gotten THAT off my chest... ~____~;; bwah. I have my own phone number... it rings with a different ring than our normal number, but comes thru on the same phones... but I always cringe and hope the person will hang up before I answer. O___o; *is odd* ... ^^; telemarketers frequent my phoneline. And one of my friends, the one who isn't connected with reality (I mean in a BAD way, not in a good way XD ) ... ~_________~; she wants me to have her birthday party here. I want nothing of the sort.

Does that make me selfish?

x___X; it's just that... she keeps asking, and ever-so-subtly hinting, and suggesting... that I have it here... but... x___x; it's the way I grew up... I absolutely HATE having to ask anyone for anything... it doesn't bother me when people ask me for stuff, really (which makes me very odd, but everyone who reads this ought to know by now, that I am VERY odd!), but... she's being too persistant. I like helping... I just... don't... want parties at my house. -____-;;

.... XDDDDD;;; I could squish Ron... really... *looks around* he's so cute... and... XDDD he was the person that Harry would miss the most.. *giggles and rolls*

Harry: I wish you'd give it up about that... x___x;

*pets Harry* but it's so CUTE! and... you were so miserable when he wasn't talking to you... *fluffs Harry* XD